So, more on the single's party

So, I'm still at the singles party, after viewing the 8 minute dating (that had been reduced to three minutes). And, might I add, that they stuck the 3 minute dating in this very bad feng shui back corner of the museum? Ok, the whole metaphor of 3 minute dating in a corner of a museum is so horrible and such a turn off that I boycotted the whole affair.
Ok, so then I run into those thirty something group of professional girls I was telling you about. They start talking about online dating. One of them says, "so, I have a date with a match.com guy tomorrow!" Another one says,"Oh, yeah, I have a date with a match.com guy next week!" Yet another one says, "you are going on a date with a match.com guy? Wow! You're brave." "I only date eharmony guys." Then she proceeds to talk about the pros of eharmony.com versus match.com and how perfectmatch.com is ok, but not as great as eharmony.
Is this my thirties future, girls? Please, please, please no! I wanted to have ruby slippers and click my ass back to the Cowgirl for an Irish carbomb.
Ok, so I've looked at match.com and there are a couple cute guys on there every now and then, when you weed out the serial killer and crazy people. But how do these women actually take that next step and set up a date? It just seems so weird and silly: sitting through a whole dinner with someone you've never met and don't even know if you have that "want to jump his bones" chemistry with him.
That seems like a huge potential waste of a couple of hours. But then, I'm thinking, it might be good blog material. It's probably the only way to get a date with a guy in this day and age where he actually asks you out to dinner. The only thing guys ask you to do with them in Santa Fe is "get some tea" or "come pick vegetable in my garden with me." And I don't want to hear any "oh, how cute!" comments from you, girls about the vegetable picking! Picking vegetables in heels is not cute. It's silly. Do I look like I pick vegetables? I'm lucky if my plants last a year!
And it seems like everyone is doing the online dating thing-without embarassment! How did I get so out of the loop after 6 years of being in a relationship? I missed the boat on the online dating revolution, and while everyone seems to be on the boat and acting like they are having fun, I just can't quite force myself to buy a ticket, eat from the buffet and dance the lambada.
But in any respect, consensus would probably say that we have been reduced to disconnected, sterilized, statistical, box-checking relationships. No wonder we are all so fucked up. No wonder we can't find or keep anything, be it keys, men, food in the fridge...