commitment issues
It's interesting, the male/female dynamic. Men don't have to commit or take a girl seriously because there are so many women out there who act like this is ok. So many of my women friends have acted like it's ok and like it doesn't bother them. But it's a bunch of b.s. Women are just made of different stuff. If we want to spend time with a guy and have sex with him, it's only a matter of time before we become attached. We act like this is a bad thing, because it's still a man's world out there, and we are still defining ourselves by these standards.
It IS kind of forced on us for the fact that if we do say that we don't like it that way, some guys-most guys-will just say, "see ya!" and find some other girl who is ok with their bullshit. Probably one of those girls who doesn't have a lot of girlfriends.
But part of me thinks, if a guy really likes a girl, then the reluctance to say, "she's my girlfriend" won't be there. And if it is, then hence that book, "maybe he's just not that into you."
I have such a skewed vision of this because I was with a guy for 6 years that was one of those serial monogomists who liked being with only one woman, didn't stray and liked to spend all of his time with me. I know this is unusual.
I know, some people don't even believe he was really like this-it's like telling someone the lock ness monster exists. They just look at you like, "you totally have no idea what's going on, you crazy girl." Men straying, cheating, lying and not committing is so prevalent that when it doesn't happen, we don't really believe our eyes. It's called collectively allowing this to happen. It's like global warming. If one of us stops using so much oil, it's not gonna do shit, but if we all did, then it would have an effect. But that's never gonna happen. It's the same with letting men trample our daisy boxes.
Some women say, that they really feel like the men feel about committment-that they can play the "it means nothing" game and be fine with that. But I don't buy it. Not for longer than a couple of months. Either they are not that into the guy or they have developed a titanium-clad defense mechanism in order to be able to play ball with the big boys. Or they are totally damaged. In any respect, the end question is, isn't this somehow tied in to the fact that fewer and fewer people are able to find lasting relationships? Hell fuckin' yeah.
It IS kind of forced on us for the fact that if we do say that we don't like it that way, some guys-most guys-will just say, "see ya!" and find some other girl who is ok with their bullshit. Probably one of those girls who doesn't have a lot of girlfriends.
But part of me thinks, if a guy really likes a girl, then the reluctance to say, "she's my girlfriend" won't be there. And if it is, then hence that book, "maybe he's just not that into you."
I have such a skewed vision of this because I was with a guy for 6 years that was one of those serial monogomists who liked being with only one woman, didn't stray and liked to spend all of his time with me. I know this is unusual.
I know, some people don't even believe he was really like this-it's like telling someone the lock ness monster exists. They just look at you like, "you totally have no idea what's going on, you crazy girl." Men straying, cheating, lying and not committing is so prevalent that when it doesn't happen, we don't really believe our eyes. It's called collectively allowing this to happen. It's like global warming. If one of us stops using so much oil, it's not gonna do shit, but if we all did, then it would have an effect. But that's never gonna happen. It's the same with letting men trample our daisy boxes.
Some women say, that they really feel like the men feel about committment-that they can play the "it means nothing" game and be fine with that. But I don't buy it. Not for longer than a couple of months. Either they are not that into the guy or they have developed a titanium-clad defense mechanism in order to be able to play ball with the big boys. Or they are totally damaged. In any respect, the end question is, isn't this somehow tied in to the fact that fewer and fewer people are able to find lasting relationships? Hell fuckin' yeah.
posted by whatnottodoinheels @ 7:19 PM
2 Comments:
At 5:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'm one of those faithful men, and my personal experience is women get bored with it or something. I consider myself a good looking man, and I have a strong sex drive, but its a different world these days. I dated a beautiful woman that I fell in love with last year. She was highly independent, would come over for sex and then leave to go home - one time with her dress half zipped and throwing a shoe on as she went out the door. As a man this completely stunned me, lol. I wanted her to stay cause I loved her, but she obviously didnt love me. I put up with it cause she was gorgeous, but ultimately I broke up with her, because the independent nature was too much. She just wanted me for sex. Isnt that hilarious? A guy complaining about that. I dont have the "dog" thing built into me, I just cant be that way, to all the mocking of my buddies. oh well, just a snippet of my dating experience for ya.
http://www.sjoel.com
At 6:18 PM,
whatnottodoinheels said…
It IS hilarious. I'm telling you, these days I find many of the women I know like the "bad boys." This often means the boys that don't like them that much or act unavailable. And then what boys there are out there, like the boy above, well, I'm sure it makes them gunshy-or makes them feel they have to act differently than they really would if they knew the woman wouldnt react negatively to the "good boy" thing. The endless game cycle.
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