bloody good old times?

So, my ex, whom I dated for 6 years (he says 51/2-what's up with that?), is starting to date again. Well, according to me he's started to date for the first time since we broke up. According to him, not so much. Hence, my other entry about what constitutes "dating" someone. We still talk to each other a lot. I know, it's excessive, but when neither of you have really moved on, but you enjoy talking to each other greatly, it's almost like, why not?
Anyway, he lives in Birmingham now. It was a fabulous relationship, except for the fighting-which sounds pretty manic. It was the kind of fighting that makes you know, deep down, that it's a matter of time before you break up. One of those relationships where you know all your girlfriends are thinking the same thing. I personally think we all know when and if the train is gonna wreck, you know?
So, I ended it the only way I could and left D.C. for Santa Fe. But it's still hard. I guess, once you get to that point where the idea of living without someone forever is better than living with the bad parts of the relationship, then you have your answer.
We decided to remain friends after we broke up. We reunited in DC for a couple of days in March. Of course, we hooked up. Hey, if not for that, it would've been way too long for a girl to go without the "ooh la la."
So, for the first time since the break up, he kisses another girl, sleeps and snuggles with her, and tells me this all in a very nonchalant kind of way. I tried to be cool with it, but you know that feeling you get when you can feel the inside of your stomach burning-kind of like full-body heartburn? Yeah. Totally got that. And it then killed me even more how "whatever" he was about it.
Like as if it had changed nothing between us. He spends a lot of time with her, but she is "not his girlfriend." I swear, this is such a theme with guys in the world now. He says there can't be anything between them because "she is crazy." Well, from my experience, the fact that a girl is "crazy" has never stopped a guy from moving right along with her. Also, from my experience, "crazy" can be very generously applied to the female race by the men of the world. What is that?
HE says that he spoke of this new girl in his life nonchalantly to me because he didn't want to make a big deal out of it, because "it's not a big deal." He didn't see it in terms of the fact that kissing another girl for the first time since me had the defining effect of altering our relationship forever. He said that maybe he was trying to hurt me by speaking of it in such nonchalant terms. I think he's right. Why do we do that to each other? But, that's a woman's question. Men don't think, they just do.

The saddest part about a relationship ending is that all those things that were important, all those people that were a part of his life, so they were then a part of mine, all those memories of all the places we lived together and travelled together...poof. Ended. Past. Although, the plus side is that the family goes "poof," too. It got really quiet when I had to try to figure out who I was without the "we" that defined my life. That's when you realize how ephemeral it all is. J.A. was talking about this, too. She said she ran into her ex's sister the other day-she thought of her like her own sister-and his sister says, "J.A., I almost didn't recognize you!" It almost broke J's heart. And it's gone, just like that. As fast as that piece of Trader Joe's mud pie I just had.