Trader Joe's Has Yummy Boys

My office is not interesting. We have two secretaries and one other attorney. My friend, K, is one of the secretaries.Thank God she works in this office or I would feel like a social pariah. I keep telling K that she needs to make a blog. She always has these great stories when she goes out without me and it always involves her staying up till 4 am with two guys who are equally into her. They always all end up at her place and she always makes out with one of them and shuns the other one, who subsequently falls asleep on her couch. It's happened like five times. So, K calls me yesterday and leaves this message: "I'm at the video store with my friend "I" and her boyfriend. They are renting porn and they want me to have a threesome. Please save me." This girl I. is out of control, but absolutely hysterical. i like having girlfriends like that, but I would never want to date them if I were a man. Which is probably how men feel who have misogynistic assholes for friends. So, they end up renting "the Neverending Story" and "Deep Throat." What a fucking combo. K then called me from I.'s broom closet to tell me everything was OK and she successfully prevented a swinging threesome attack.
I. is also the same girl that, when she becomes inebriated, becomes a lesbian. She is really the first woman who has ever come on to me, as lesbians do not find me interesting for some reason. Lesbians love K. She is such lesbian bait, it's not even funny. Anyway, so I. comes onto me hard core. Saying things like, "I know you want it." All I can must out of my complete shock is, "I'm so sorry, I don't know how to react to this. I don't know how to react to this." It was definitely a Dorothy clicking her heels kind of moment. However, I felt somehow flattered that a woman had finally found me attractive, only to find out later that she had come on to absolutely everyone else at the party. I felt dirty and used. It was great.

K's email from yesterday: Trader Joe's Has Yummy Boys.
I love it.