I'm an attorney but I hate lawyers

So, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am a new attorney to the area. I sit in front of a computer all day, do research and talk to people with problems. I'm like a shrink without as much human interaction.
So, I have to go to these continuing legal education classes. It's like being in law school all over again. A bunch of assholes who think they know more than you do and think you want to hear ALL about what they know. God! I hate attorneys. Ok, so about the last continuing legal education class I went to: this arrogant, fat
attorney was giving a lecture on some employment discrimination, blah, blah, blah
and everytime some other blabber-mouth attorney in the audience would ask a question,
(a.k.a., make a comment about how much they knew) he would hand out a pen to them, as a gift-to make everyone pay attention.
So, this girl raises her hand and starts talking about God knows what, because I
totally stopped paying attention after the speaker handed her a pen wrapped
in celophane, and she started talking into it like it was a microphone. She thought
he handed her a freaking microphone-a microphone wrapped in celophane???.
I'm sitting
there with my mouth open trying to not laugh, and no one else is finding it funny,
except the Asian chick behind me (We totally would've been friends in law school) YELLS out, "oh my God! That girl thinks she has a microphone in her hand!" The
the girl thinks her microphone isn't working, so she half stops trying to talking into it and sort of taps it on the back of the chair to see if that will make it start working.
I'm like, are you kidding me? Is this for real?
No one else laughs or says anything. Then, when she's done talking, she tries to
hand the microphone/pen back to the speaker. He says, you can keep that; it's a
pen. She looks at it all quizically and says, "Oh". Good lord. Made my
whole day.